“YOU HAVE TO COME TO THE CONVENTION!”, my best friend yells excitedly over the phone to me when I tell her for the first time I am attending an AA meeting the next day. I really had other things on my mind at that time but said “O.K.”, knowing that she had been waiting for this moment for many years, waiting and watching for my awareness of my own sobriety to be realized. So I booked the plane tickets and headed to the convention, 40 days sober. The convention was in my home town of Perth. I had not lived there for 8 years as the memories of my life are not pleasant, that’s why I left. But there I was, sober in Perth. I had not been sober since I was 14 years old. That was 27 years ago. The fear was gripping. ‘What if I run into my old drinking buddies?’, ‘They will ask why I am here’, ‘What will I say?’, ‘They are going to know I am an alcoholic’, ‘I’m going to have to lie… but I am a terrible liar’. The mind chatter continued constantly, telling me to take the next direct flight back to Singapore. I took a taxi with my 8 year old daughter to my best friend’s house the night before the convention. Wow! We had known each other for so many years. We had drank together, taken drugs together, fought together, lived together, stolen together. Tonight we were in recovery together and our daughters were playing together. Who would have thought?! But what a connection we shared now.

Day 1: With our usual drama of getting ourselves to the convention (we ended up in the bus lane on the freeway with no way to get off, laughing hysterically as other motorists were staring at us like we were crazy lunatics. They would have never believed us if we had told them we were on our way to an AA convention! Well maybe they would have!) I checked myself in and was greeted with a name tag and a bright orange bag of goodies. I saw a couple of familiar faces from the Singapore fellowship and felt a little more at ease. The Perth Convention Centre is very sophisticated and the view of the Swan River is breathtaking. As I looked out over the city skyline I thought to myself ‘I have missed you’. I took a deep breath and prayed to God to help me overcome these nervous feelings, wondering if I was going to fit in here, in my home town. I felt like such an outsider when I lived here. We headed to room 7 for our very first meeting, where my best friend got up to share. I had never heard her share and was surprised by her softness, wisdom and the way the crowed warmed to this heavily tattooed, beautiful lady. It was like they could see directly into her soul through the honesty of her words at her experiences of life in the hard and fast lane. I was so proud of her and today she continues to inspire me to be the best person I can be. Next we attended a meeting in the Riverside Theatre and listened to stories from Ireland, USA, Japan and people from all over the world. How amazing that we can be brought together from all over this planet and still relate to one another no matter the race, sex or religion. We all have understanding from the suffering that resonates from this cunning disease.

I heard shares that sounded just like my life, like they were standing on that stage telling my story. Then there were those that were not like mine, YET. We laughed at the insanity of our actions, thoughts and feelings from those drunken days. We cried at the horror we had put not only ourselves, but our loved ones through. How some had stood by us but some could not stand by to see this self destruction any longer. The shares were so honest, it made me realise I was in the right place and perhaps yes, I was an alcoholic. The next meeting was the beginners meeting. Perfect I thought, being a beginner they would NEED ME at this meeting. This meeting taught me the importance of how we treat and welcome the newcomer. I listened to the many old timers views’ on how they welcome the first timers and how to keep people coming back. I bravely put up my hand and was privileged to be accepted to speak at this meeting. ‘Hi I’m …. and I am an alcoholic and I’m 40 days today’. I was welcomed with a loud cheer. This acceptance caused the tears welling in my eyes to dissipate and I laughed instead. I told my story; Of how I was born here in Perth to a challenging childhood, my teenage years filled with drinking traumas and I did not deal well with growing up in this city. So I left. I left the state, I left the country. And now 8 years later, I am back. Sober. At an AA convention. I spoke about my experience of getting sober in Singapore. How scary it was being a foreigner and not knowing if the local Singaporeans would even speak my language. I am grateful that I was guided through the fear, as the fellowship in Singapore has opened its arms and embraced

me, warts and all. After I shared I had many people approach me with words of encouragement. If I ever felt alone someone would appear and introduce themselves to me, as they all knew the feelings of being so fresh and new to the program. Day 2: Before the convention I went to drop my daughter off at my mums. My little 8 year old was so excited to be staying with her nanna who she knew would spoil her rotten. My mum and I were not really on speaking terms at this time and she found it hard to make eye contact with me. Two months earlier my sister walked out of her rehab facility for alcohol and I was furious with her. She was weak and ungrateful to all the people who had made significant sacrifices to get her into Cyrinean House and here she was throwing it all away for a drink. I then proceeded to call every one of my family members in Perth to instruct them to stop enabling my sister. I was harsh and mean to my family, the people I love. They were trying to help my sister to the best of their ability but all I could think about was their weaknesses. If they hardened up a bit then my sister might harden up a bit. This situation caused much conflict with my family members and I decided it was best to completely remove myself from the situation. It was then a month later I realised I too was an alcoholic and my sister was the first person I called for advice. My favourite meeting of day 2 was the Al-Anon meeting. I had never attended one before and was not really sure what to expect. By the end of the meeting, the group of alcoholics I was sitting with were all in

tears. The shares we had experienced were like a reflection of our years growing up in an alcoholic family. We had all faced years of torment as children. I remember thinking as a child that I would never allow that harm or pain to enter my children’s lives. I now know that attending Al-non meetings is going to be very helpful and healing for my long term sobriety, but more importantly Al-Anon can heal my family members who have grown up with and continue to deal with alcoholism in their lives. I grabbed as many pamphlets as I could hold and took them back to my mum’s place. My best friend, who was also my sister’s sponsor, was talking to my Mum about the experience we had at the Al-Anon meeting and how this could be a way for her to HELP my Sister by HELPING herself. My Mum is now the treasurer at her local Al-Anon meeting. Day 3: Our main focus for today was to attend the Women’s meeting in the Riverside Theatre, a theatre so large it can seat up to 2500 people. For Perth that amount is huge. The Women’s meeting was honest, raw and heartbreaking. Yet this meeting has inspired me to be the best woman I can be. The meeting gave me focus to do esteem able acts, as my self esteem had been so low. The meeting made me believe that my life was just beginning. Yes we had made some bad decisions involving our children, husbands, fathers, mothers, siblings and ourselves but here we were doing our utmost to become better mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and friends. This was the first time I had seen my best friend cry; we had been best friends for 25 years. I wrote this article to share with you my experience of the Perth

Convention. But the more I wrote the more I realised this convention was God’s way of bringing me closer to the people I love. Healing me through the fellowship and healing my family through my experience of a convention I was initially attending just to spend time with my best mate. The meaning of these conventions to me is to bring out the connections we have and feel toward each other. These are soul connections that cannot be explained, only felt.