It’s  still  early  days  for  me  and  I  still  don’t  have  a  name  for  you  or  quite  understand  who  you  are or  why  you  have  been  there  all  my  life  or  even  why  I  have  only  just  noticed  you  now.  All  I  can do  is  thank  you,  as  my  eyes  begin  to  embrace  a  new  life  of  hope. Who  would  have  imagined  this  new  life?    A  life  of  hope  and  joy  as  I  connect  more  and  more with   other   alcoholics.   A   new   moral   compass,   a   new   sense   of   well-­‐being,   a   new   sense   of belonging  and  understanding  of  a  better  future. Who  would  have  thought? A  life  of  many  sad  moments  that  only  became  the  blindfold  to  my  disease  known  as  alcoholism. What  a  gift  it  has  been  to  see  the  light.  There  is  a  solution! Who  would  have  thought? A  life  I  proclaimed  worthless. A  self  I  proclaimed  unlovable. A  future  I  proclaimed  non-­‐existent. Today  it  is  different.  By  the  love  I  have  found  in  you,  you  have  helped  me  hold  my  little  heart  in light  and  shown  me  how  I  can  blossom  into  the  person  I  ought  to  be  in  your  eyes.  I  trust  you will  in  time,  help  heal  my  wounds  and  help  me  get  strong  enough  to  help  others.  I  know  today that  that  is  what  I  want. Who  would  have  thought  I  would  even  have  known  what  I  wanted? Nothing  ever  made  sense. The  world  did  not  make  sense. I  did  not  make  sense. How  could  it  be,  that  following  the  simple  steps  that  are  suggested,  that  connecting  with  other fellows,   could   fill   a   person   with   a   bottomless   pit   and   regain   a   reason   to   live? I  thank  you  dear  friend  for  doing  the  things  I  could  not  do  for  myself.  I  see  that  now.

I  have  spent  a  long  time  being  angry  with  you. Why  did  you  make  me  suffer  so  much? What  did  I  do  wrong? That  is  all  in  the  past  now,  all  forgotten,  all  forgiven,  as  for  the  biggest  pain  in  my  heart  you caused  me,  lead  me  to  this  path  that  has  more  sunny  days  than  rainy. Today  I  sometimes  even  like  the  rainy  days.    I  understand  the  teachings  and  growth  that  come with  it. I  don’t  understand  why  I  thought  I  could  do  it  all  on  my  own  or  even  why  I  wanted  to  do  it  all  on my  own. Thank  you  for  reaching  out  to  me,  when  I  could  no  longer  walk  by  myself. The   sense   of   peace   you   have   given   me   by   connecting   me   to   others   with   this   disease   has removed  my  need  to  live  a  lonely  existence. I  am  excited  about  our  future  together  and  watching  our  relationship  develop. I  am  scared  though.  This  is  all  so  new.  I  still  need  help  with  trust  and  fear.  Please  just  continue to  hold  my  hand  for  I  am  still  not  ready  to  live  this  life  without  you  and  hope  I  never  am,  for  you always  seem  to  know  which  way  to  turn. I  leave  you  with  this  until  I  write  again  or  see  you  in  my  prayers. Thank  you  for  my  new  life.  I  am  eternally  grateful. Much  Love Anonymous