Daily Reprieve · June 2017

A Return of Clarity

Had you asked me a week earlier what I planned to do on my 47th

birthday it’s fair to say the answer wouldn’t have included – sit upstairs in

Boomerang at 7:30am, on a public holiday no less, in a room full of

recovering alcoholics – but that is exactly what I did. It was also the day a

clarity of thinking returned to me I couldn’t recall in a long time, an alcoholic

cloud lifting from my mind and the real outset of a journey of sobriety.

A few days earlier my drinking had finally caught up with me and

the facade that I’d kept up for a long time, if increasingly shakily

both literally and figuratively, that everything was “all ok” cracked wide

open. As a result, I agreed with my wife that I should seek help from AA

which led me to the morning meeting at Boomerang the next day, a few

days before my birthday.

Unlike some who come to the rooms I knew virtually nothing about AA

before I walked in the door. My sum knowledge was to limited TV

dramas where people sat around in circle and introduced themselves

saying “I’m an alcoholic” and the “Twelve Step Suite” by American rock

band Dream Theater whose drummer had been through the Twelve

Step programme. But I hadn’t ever read the lyrics so that wasn’t much

This complete lack of knowledge of what I was getting myself into is

perhaps why at just under four months sober, as I am writing this, I have

made relatively slow progress with the Twelve Steps. I wanted to

watch, listen and read to understand what AA was actually about. But

the benefits of attending meetings and hearing the experiences of

others, and slowly starting to learn to share my own as well, are very

clear to me, as well as those around me.

Six months ago, I couldn’t have imagined living my life sober. But now

that I am, life is so much better – its happier, calmer and easier to cope

with the difficulties. I must admit I still spend plenty of time thinking

about “not drinking”, and yes, it is one day at time, and definitely about

not picking up that first drink. But with the help of AA and the people in

the programme I feel able daily to beat the baffling power that alcohol

had held over my life.

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