My first sober visit home was a shit show. I had 7 months in

the program and thought I had it all together, thought I’d breeze through on the wings of my newfound self-awareness

and zen-like calm. It started out beautifully but quickly devolved into the epic crescendo of my being thrown out of

my mom’s house (for probably the 100th time).

So much had changed for me in Singapore, but walking back

into my mom’s house was like walking back into the past. I was not prepared for the complete and total time warp it turned out to be. I was almost instantly thrown back into a

mindset of unmanageability and fear, with triggers and land

mines at every turn. In the moments when I was able to summon up some of the skills I had learned in the rooms, when I remembered to pray and turn the whole mess over to my Higher Power, I found relief. I was even able to employ a

“pause” during a particularly volatile episode, something I had

never been able to do previously. Progress, not perfection!

Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on last summer’s visit, I have come up with a few points of action that I

believe will help to make my next visit safer and more enjoyable. I put my thoughts down in acrostic poem form here

in hopes that it may resonate and be useful to some of my

A FAMILY VISIT: Be clear about what you will and will not accept Own your actions Uplift others – try to go in with an attitude of service, particularly with those loved ones who are not fortunate enough to have a program Never forget to pray Do the next right thing Assume positive intent Remember HALT Increase self care – try to get plenty of sleep, drink lots of water, eat healthy foods, schedule a little “me” time where possible Escape route – have contingency plans in place in case you need to get away for awhile (or in a hurry) Stay close to the program!! Meetings, phone calls to fellows, prayer, meditation, service, readings, speaker tapes, podcasts. ~Marnie