On April 3rd, I found myself sent home to start the working from home protocol that my company decided to self-implement.

Not long after that came the government directive that workplaces should shut down and then came the first circuit breaker.

As a single man living alone this seemed like a perfect situation at first. Not having to get up as early, only doing as much work as was required whilst dipping in and out of Netflix and snacking on all sorts of unhealthy stuff from the kitchen.

That euphoria, however, was short lived once the reality of the situation kicked in.

There was only so much Netflix that could be watched each day and the standard of my work started to drop. The isolation began to feel like incarceration as opposed to freedom. My mind started to plumb the depths of negative thoughts and self-pity.

I have only been sober for 5 months and most of my drinking had been in isolation at home so the cravings really started to become rather overwhelming. What was I to do?

Thank goodness for modern technology and the AA zoom meetings. I try as best as possible to join a meeting every morning and that jump starts my day and gives me a reason to get up. I did find initially that the shares of happy family life sent stabbing pains to my heart – my past relationship might still be ongoing if it hadn’t been for my behavior – those feelings of resentment were palpable and for me very real. Why should other people be in a happy loving relationship and not me? But those feelings are very much in my nature and are in all of us to a certain extent. The important thing is that I didn’t act on it, it didn’t lead me to taking that drink. And once the initial resentment was under control I realised that I should feel happy for my fellows who are finding the forced family time a godsend as opposed to a chore.

So I listen for those similarities, I listen for those nuggets that we are all the same deep down and it is those shares and similarities that brought me down from Planet Tim to Planet Earth.

Don’t get me wrong, this isolation is extremely hard – as someone who craves human interaction and attention!

However, I have started to try and keep to a routine. Get up, attend a zoom meeting and then off for a cycle. Nothing overly strenuous – otherwise I would find an excuse not to do it! – just 10k a day. Back for breakfast and a shower and then work till at least 12.30. Then lunch and watch the news.

In the afternoon do some weights and then more work. It is so important for me to set work goals each day or I will procrastinate and put it off for the following day. I am one of the least disciplined people I know, and my emotionally stunted inner child will allow me to get away with not doing something if I know I can get away with it.

Evenings are a bit of an effort, but I try to meditate regularly and read instead of slobbing out in front of the tv and that helps. Then an early night

There are still quite a few weeks to go and I will attempt to keep my routine up in order to reduce the negative thoughts and my self-pity.

I also know I should pick up the phone more. So here is my promise to you lot – I will be making more calls. It could be you next!

I hope to come out of this situation stronger than when I went in and it is the support of AA and the fellows who will help me achieve this goal because without help it is definitely too much for me.

Tim