For  further  assistance,  call  (+65)6475  0890  or  email  us  at:  help@Singaporeaa.org To  contribute  to  the  Daily  Reprieve,  please  send  your  article  or  Announcement  to: newsletter@Singaporeaa.org  See  details  and  meeting  schedules  at:  www.Singaporeaa.org

Dear  Friends, Welcome  to  the  latest  edition  of  the  Daily  Reprieve.    We  hope  that  you  have  all  enjoyed  a  break over  the  Summer. This   month   we   have   a   focus   on   Service   with   two   members   sharing   their   experience   on   their involvement  in  Service  and  how  it  has  helped  them  and  others  in  their  sober  journey.    These  timely contributions,  “Carrying  the  Message,  Not  the  Alcoholic”  and  “Service  –  I  am  Responsible”  are  a serendipitous  addition  to  the  Newsletter  ahead  of  the  Service  Workshop  which  is  scheduled  for  the 29th   August.   All   members   are   welcome   and   encouraged   to   join.   Details   are   included   below   and further  information  can  be  obtained  from  meeting  Chairs. We   have   a   number   of   other   articles   submitted   by   our   Members   including   “Recovery   in   Action”, “Back  to  Basics  in  KK,  Sabah”,  A  Deep  Distress  Hath  Humanised  my  Soul”  and  “We”.  Once  again  we are   seeking   articles   for   the   next   newsletter,   these   can   be   submitted   at   any   time   to newsletter@singaporeaa.org.    The  newsletter  relies  on  contributions  and  we  would  like  to  continue to  publish  every  quarter,  so  please  help  us  and  send  in  some  of  your  writing. Our  Feature  “History  of  AA  In  Singapore”  will  return  in  the  next  edition,  featuring  experiences  from Members  who  will  share  about  the  early  years  of  the  Singapore  Fellowship.  If  you  would  like  to  be part  of  this  Feature  please  do  let  us  know. We  are  also  looking  for  volunteers  for  a  new  initiative  being  piloted  by  Alcoholics  Anonymous  in Singapore  in  conjunction  with  the  Institute  of  Mental  Health.    This  is  a  Temporary  Contact  Program designed  to  help  the  alcoholic  in  a  treatment  program  “bridge  the  gap”  between  treatment  and their   attendance   at   AA.   Experience   shows   us   that   attending   regular   meetings   is   critical   and   this programs   aims   to   provide   newcomers   with   a   contact   person   who   will   assist   in   taking   them   to   a variety  of  meetings  and  introducing  them  to  other  fellows.    If  you  are  interested  in  assisting  in  this initiative  please  contact  the  Singapore  A.A.  HI/PI  Group  on  hi.pi.aa@outlook.com. The   2016   Singapore   Round   Up   is   in   early   planning   stages   and   we   need   your   help   to   make   it   a successful   as   the   2015   event.   If   you   would   like   to   volunteer   please   contact   the   events   team   by sending  an  email  to  events@singaporeaa.org Michelle  K Disclaimer:    The  views  and  opinions  expressed  in  articles  submitted  to  the  Daily  Reprieve  are  those  of  the o  not  necessarily  reflect  the  official  policy  or  position  of  Alcoholics  Anonymous.

Carrying  the  message,  not  the  alcoholic About   three   years   ago,   when   I   finally   decided   to   get   serious   about   recovery   (after   having   been beaten  into  submission  by  my  disease),  I  remember  my  sponsor  suggesting  that  I  do  as  much  service as  I  possibly  could,  right  at  the  start  of  my  recovery  process  and  to  work  with  others  as  well.    I remember  that,  at  the  time,  while  I  was  still  very  caught  up  in  needing  to  understand  why  I  was doing  what  I  was  doing  in  order  that  it  might  be  more  effective  in  my  life,  he  said,  “You  don’t  have to   understand   it.     You   only   have   to   start   doing   it.”     At   the   time,   in   addition   to   the   home   group service  I  was  doing,  there  was  a  general  call  going  around  for  volunteers  to  go  do  some  Hospitals and  Institutions  (H&I)  meetings  at  the  local  mental  health  hospital.    My  sponsor  suggested  that  I  try going  for  those.    I  also  remember  being  sceptical  about  what  I  could  possibly  offer  these  patients.    I was  barely  clean  and  sober  myself.    I  didn’t  have  any  solutions,  hadn’t  experienced  any  real  long term  recovery.    Nonetheless,  by  that  time,  I  had  already  made  an  internal  decision  to  do  whatever  it took  to  achieve  sobriety. So  I  dutifully  made  the  hour  long  journey,  every  week,  for  the  first  six  months  and  plonked  myself  in the  chair  at  the  hospital  and  participated  in  an  H&I  meeting  with  the  patients  there.    I  remember being  guided  by  some  of  the  fellows  in  recovery  who  had  longer  term  sobriety  and  more  experience with  how  to  chair  such  a  meeting  and  respond  effectively  to  the  patients  (who  range  the  whole spectrum  in  open-­‐mindedness  and  willingness  to  hear).    I  remember  my  first  few  meetings  there and   being   very   buoyed,   talking   about   experience,   strength   and   some   hope.     At   the   end   of   the meetings,  I  was  always  on  top  of  the  world,  always  fully  in  the  space  of  gratitude  of  the  respite  I  was given  from  the  insane  voices  in  my  head  that  told  me  that  “one  more”  couldn’t  hurt  me,  that  this time,  it  would  be  different.    However,  six  months  into  doing  this  every  week,  I  did  question  whether what  I  was  doing  was  effective.    I  hardly  saw  any  of  the  patients  come  into  the  rooms  or  even  reach out  to  call  for  help,  though  I  dutifully  gave  my  numbers  to  any  who  wanted  it.    At  the  time,  I  didn’t realize  it,  but  I  was  making  their  attempts  at  recovery  all  about  me,  and  when  they  didn’t  respond the  way  I  thought  they  should,  my  mind  told  me  that  it  was  all  for  nothing.    Thankfully  though,  as  a fellow  likes  to  point  out,  by  this  time,  my  feet  were  smarter  than  my  head  and  I  was  able  to  keep  on doing  this  deal. It  wasn’t  long  after  those  six  months  whereupon  I  was  to  embark  on  step  9  and  I  remember  one  of the  amends  I  was  to  make  was  to  an  old  friend  who  was  one  of  the  people  who  brought  me  to  my first  wine  and  cheese  party  and  who  had  given  me  my  first  ecstasy  trip.    I  had  heard  from  his  ex  that he  was  still  partying  but  that  his  life  was  getting  worse  and  worse  and  more  unmanageable.    Being one   of   the   first   few   amends   that   I   was   to   make,   I   can’t   say   that   I   did   it   gracefully   though.     I remember  trying  to  cram  both  an  amends  and  a  12  step  call  into  one  dinner  evening  and  needless to  say,  while  I  was  able  to  set  right  what  I  had  done  to  him,  I  was  not,  however,  able  to  convince  him that   he   had   a   problem   and   that   he   needed   help.     Right   there   and   then,   I   was   given   the   vital experience  of  why  it  was  important  to  stick  to  the  process  as  outlined  in  the  Big  Book  in  the  chapter “Working  with  Others”. Again,   I   found   myself   experiencing   the   combination   of   emotions   of   frustration   at   having   my   will thwarted   (though   I   thought   at   the   time,   it   was   frustration   at   him   not   seeing   what   a   good   thing

potential   sobriety   might   be;   it’s   always   funny   how   the   truth   of   a   situation   emerges   with   one’s change  in  perspective)  and  sorrow  that  I  would  not  have  someone  that  I  used  to  party  with,  walking with  me,  hand  in  hand,  in  recovery.    This  experience  would  be  repeated  quite  a  few  more  times  with every   newcomer   that   I   had   the   opportunity   to   12   step   or   talk   about   recovery   with,   until   the frustration  with  being  seemingly  ineffective  drove  me,  in  despair,  to  confide  in  my  sponsor,  my  woe. He  very  gently,  but  firmly  pointed  out  to  me,  that  I  was  the  one  who  stayed  clean  and  sober  in working  with  these  newcomers,  irrespective  of  whether  they  did  or  not.    This  was  to  be  a  most important  and  formative  lesson  in  steps  1  and  3  for  me. Nowhere  do  I  experience  the  most  maddening  frustration  (and  paradoxically,  most  gratitude)  more than  when  I’m  working  with  sponsees.    I  had  one  particularly  stubborn  sponsee  (who  is  no  longer  in the   rooms   today)   who   absolutely   refused   to   heed   any   of   the   suggestions   he   solicited   from   me, which  drove  me  quite  crazy  after  awhile.    He  relapsed  time  and  again,  messed  up  his  family  and personal   relationships,   was   a   prey   to   misery   constantly.     One   day,   we   had   a   conversation   that escalated  into  a  full  out  shouting  argument.    I  was  so  disturbed  by  it,  that  I  had  to  call  my  sponsor, and  proceeded  to  subject  him  to  a  full  half  an  hour  of  self-­‐pitying  “He  did  this,  and  he  said  that,  and who  the  hell  does  he  think  he  is?”    After  my  ranting,  he  calmly  asked  me  if  I  wanted  to  learn  and grow  from  this  episode.    He  told  me  that  it  was  an  experience  of  remembering  our  powerlessness, that  we  carry  the  message  of  recovery  to  the  alcoholic,  we’re  not  responsible  for  the  outcome.    If anything,  I  should  be  grateful  for  the  experience  because  it  was  revealing  in  me  the  disturbance  that I  harboured,  the  character  defect  that  was  finding  its  mirror  in  the  external  situation. It  was  a  perfect  step  6  moment.    I  was  so  stunned  by  his  response  I  couldn’t  speak  for  a  moment  and then,  by  that  time,  totally  disarmed,  I  started  laughing  when  the  lesson  dawned  on  me.    It  was  quite a  silly  spectacle,  being  so  caught  up  in  my  self-­‐centredness  and  self-­‐absorption.    He  proceeded  to share  with  me  that  he  had  had  the  same  experience  and  his  sponsor  told  him  exactly  the  same  thing (“whose  helping  who?”)  and  he  had  a  mini-­‐  spiritual  awakening  of  what  it  means  when  we  help someone  in  recovery,  that  we’re  the  ones  that  get  helped  when  we  reach  out  to  be  of  service  to someone. All  of  these  cumulative  experiences  remind  me  that  if  I’m  to  keep  on  growing  in  understanding  and effectiveness  to  be  of  use  to  another  alcoholic,  I  have  to  remember  my  position  of  powerlessness. This  frees  me  from  needing  to  have  all  the  answers  (and  re-­‐taking  the  reins  of  self-­‐will  back  into  my hands)   to   solve   another   alcoholic’s   problem.   It   forces   me   to   remember   that   my   experience   in recovery,  which  is  the  only  message  I  can  authentically  carry,  is  what  keeps  my  feet  firmly  planted on  the  ground,  and  the  ego  in  check,  when  I  can  surrender  the  expectation  of  a  desired  outcome into  the  loving  hands  of  a  Power  greater  than  myself.    This  has,  for  me,  led  to  joy  and  serenity  and  a more   unconditional   way   of   accepting   and   loving   the   still   suffering   alcoholic.     I’m   not   always successful,  but  one  step  at  a  time,  one  day  at  a  time,  it  becomes  more  real.

-­‐ -­‐  -­‐  -­‐  -­‐ ‘I  will  try  again  tomorrow  ~  Mary  Anne  Radmacher Dear  Past,  thank  you  for  the  lessons,  Dear  Future,  I  am  ready  ~  unknown The  past  does  not  have  to  be  your  prison.  You  have  a  voice  in  your  destiny.  You  have  a  say  in  your life.  You  have  a  choice  in  the  path  you  take.  ~  Max  Lucado

Recovery  in  Action I   joined   A.A.   two   years   ago   because   with   the   gift   of   desperation   I   finally   admitted   that   I   was powerless  over  alcohol  and  as  a  result  my  life  had  become  unmanageable.    At  the  same  time,  I  also realized  that  I  could  not  bring  myself  out  a  spiral  characterized  by  broken  hearts,  disappointments, blackouts,  hospitalizations,  and  missed  appointments  and  flights.    Today,  I  remain  powerless  over alcohol,   but   because   of   these   realizations   and   my   dedication   to   recovery   my   life   is   now manageable.    As  a  matter  of  fact,  it’s  great  –  something  I  had  not  imagined  it  could  until  I  found myself  in  recovery. The  journey  has  been  nothing  so  short  of  challenging,  mostly  in  the  positive  sense  of  the  word.    The hardest   part   in   my   active   drinking   and   post-­‐drinking   career   was   the   drinking,   not   the recovery.    What  it  took  to  bring  me  into  the  rooms  was  painful,  but  the  pain  of  the  challenges  I  have had  to  deal  with  in  my  recovery  in  doing  the  steps  does  not  even  come  close  to  the  pain  I  suffered before. After  spending  a  month  at  the  Cabin  in  Chiang  Mai,  Thailand,  I  returned  to  Singapore  with  such  a strong  sense  of  excitement  and  optimism  I  could  not  recall  having  felt  before.    It  was  as  if  I  had  been given  a  new  chance  in  life,  free  of  charge.    The  journey  to  that  privilege  had  been  rough.    Half  a  year before,  I  had  attended  my  first  A.A.  meeting  here  in  Singapore  after  some  nights  of  heavy  drinking, worrying  my  girlfriend  profoundly.    The  warmth  with  which  I  was  welcomed  at  that  meeting  is  still clear  in  my  mind.    There,  one  guy  from  the  same  European  region  as  me  offered  to  help  me  get started  with  the  steps  with  the  help  of  a  sponsor.    Little  did  either  of  us  know  that  I  was  not  ready and  had  to  suffer  another  six  months  before  I  was  ready.    When  I  was  ready,  while  in  rehab,  I  took him  up  on  his  offer  to  help  me  get  a  sponsor.    On  my  return  from  rehab,  I  met  with  my  new  sponsor and  we  immediately  clicked  and  I  got  started  on  doing  90  meetings  in  90  days.    If  one  period  of  my recovery  particularly  stands  out,  it  is  that  90  day  period. While   I   was   in   rehab,   my   girlfriend   had   made   up   her   mind   to   move   out.     She   told   me   when   I returned   to   Singapore   and   I   respected   her   decision,   which   to   any   reasonable   person   was   not   a surprising  result  of  my  drinking.    I  was  surprised  by  my  own  ability  to  handle  this  very  significant development.     I   chose   to   focus   on   aspects   of   my   life   within   my   control,   which   meant   the   90 meetings.    During  that  period  I  attended  meetings  in  15  cities  in  ten  countries  across  the  world.    I met  fellow  members  with  similar  and  different  stories  and  backgrounds,  with  short  and  long  periods of  sobriety,  but  they  all  had  one  thing  in  common,  namely  they  had  a  desire  to  stop  drinking.    That’s really  all  that  bonded  us,  but  yet  that  bond  is  so  powerful  because  it  enables  us  to  stay  sober  one day  at  a  time. I  am  going  to  do  step  11  with  my  sponsor  soon.    We  both  travel  quite  a  bit,  but  stay  in  touch.    My willingness  to  reach  out  in  times  of  darkness  or  doubt  is  improving,  but  I  still  have  a  long  way  to go.    This  is  only  one  example  of  my  many  character  defects,  but  I  know  now  that  it  is  okay  to  have character  defects  and  they  need  not  be  rectified  immediately.    I  didn’t  know  that  before  coming  into recovery.    This  lack  of  knowledge  only  fuelled  the  emptiness  I  always  felt  and  probably  led  me  to drinking. Recovery  is  an  ongoing  challenge  for  me.    My  higher  power  steers  me  through  stormy  waters  and reminds  me  of  A.A.  always  being  there.    Recovery  is  essentially  summarized  in  the  steps,  but  one great  feature  about  them  is  the  transformation  they  lead  you  through  from  focusing  inwards  with

step  1  to  being  of  service  to  others  in  step  12.    I  am  excited  about  my  ongoing  recovery  because  it brings  me  closer  and  closer  to  serenity  and  being  able  to  fulfil  the  plan  that  my  higher  power  has drawn   up   for   me.     Not   least,   coming   back   to   the   rooms   and   doing   other   step   work   keeps   me sober.    The  girlfriend  eventually  moved  back  and  we  are  now  engaged.    My  relations  with  my  family and  friends  have  without  exception  improved  remarkably. I  have  so  much  to  live  and  be  grateful  for  thanks  to  A.A.  reminding  me  every  day  of  the  simple  steps I  can  take  to  maintain  that  reality.    That’s  recovery  in  action  for  me.    And  what  a  joy!    And  the  good news  is  it’s  available  to  anyone  who  has  a  desire  to  stop  drinking.