such as, “I don’t know the program well enough, I don’t have time for a sponsee since I’ma single mother and won’t be able to provide enough time for a sponsee”. Other excuses included, “my story is not the same as hers” or “she deserves a better sponsor” (e.g. I’m not good enough for her). The list can go on and on.

Truth be told, I was using the Sponsorship tool but not giving back. I’ve had at least 3 sponsors – all wonderful, all willing to give. But for some reason, maybe perfectionism or fear, I could never get myself to be a sponsor. I would do other service, but not sponsorship.

It was my first year in France. I was lonely without my program, friends, spon­ sor and family. It was difficult, as French wine had definitely been one of my fa­ vorites. I spent many days in self pity and isolation mode. Fortunately, Willingness (Step 7) provided me with the opportunity to get the nerve to get a sponsee.

With a sponsee, I was able to shift the focus on someone else. I listened to her problems instead of focusing on my own. And for some reason, my self-pity disap­ peared and my problems lessened.