The best lesson that AA has taught me

My name is Adrian and I am an alcoholic. I had such a distaste for that word because my Dad was one and when he drank, he just turned into a monster and I never, ever wanted to be like that.

The only solution for how shit I was feeling – was to take another drink! I got trapped in this vicious cycle, because it was the only thing I knew that worked.

Like most alcoholics, I always felt like an outsider, especially with being gay in a predominantly Christian society, white and growing up in Africa, feeling poor when I felt that everyone was richer, better, more good-looking and more talented than I was.

I got into the rooms about 6 and a half years ago battered and broken and desperate beyond measure. I sobered up, got a sponsor, and started working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I still do them today by admitting powerlessness, doing inventory, and asking God to help me in all of my affairs.

Basically, I couldn’t accept me or anything around me, let alone love myself or my surroundings.

But the best thing that AA has taught me, was to accept and love myself exactly as I am and that is the biggest gift I have ever received! I don’t only love myself, but I LIKE myself on most days.

Except when I had a drink.

Man, that burning feeling down my throat was the best thing because I knew that in that drink, I could find a lot of love, laughter and even a bit of the life that I always wanted. I felt better, funnier, richer and smarter… until the next day, when I felt even worse than I did before I took the first drink.

I’ma happy customer and I’ll keep on coming back.