I love the idea of writing something for the newsletter, but when it comes to actually sitting down to write, I’m thinking: “the quality of my writing could be better”, or, “I have nothing interesting to say”, or just plain old, “I suck at writing!” That’s my ego talking.

Joining committees such as HIPI in the past has also taught me about my own defects of character that can rear their ugly heads in business group settings. I’ve had to write inventories and amends. Fellows accepted and loved me through it because they understand. How humbling it is to be in a business group for AA. How difficult it is to keep my mouth shut. What a good opportunity to practice the principles. My fellows won’t inflate my ego! Challenging stuff.

Service is about letting go of my perfectionist tendencies, my need to be the best at something, and instead, just chip in, help out, and contribute. It’s not about winning the Pulitzer Prize for crying out loud. It’s being of service and participating in life and the AA community that I am so grateful for and indebted to.

It’s principles over personalities. When I do service, my job is to be useful and help carry the message and contribute to the unity of the group.

When I came into the rooms, my sponsor talked a lot about service. She often reframed things for me that I didn’t want to do as an opportunity to be of service. During my first year of sobriety I was the greeter at one of the evening meetings–I had to sit by the door and essentially block the meditators from coming in as they would often get the wrong entrance to their meditation groups we shared the building with. For that whole year I had to sit away from the rest of the group by the door, feeling like a bouncer, but it was a useful role and it kept me sober. That group is very strict about showing up for your service position and if you can’t be there, you have to find a backup. That taught me about the spiritual principle of responsibility, accountability and unselfishness. It made me feel like a helpful part of the group.

I had to start to get into the frame of mind where I wasn’t thinking just about myself. Service is the mechanism that allows me to do that. And, since the root of my problem is selfishness and self-centeredness, service is the perfect antidote. Service is like taking my medicine; doing self-care. It is something I need to make time for during my schedule. I have to build it into my days and weeks. When I don’t feel like doing a call, sharing in a meeting, or attending Intergroup, I have to remember that when I start to slip on my service, I seriously run the risk of picking up a drink and/or falling back into being a dry drunk. Service makes AA Singapore run–without it we wouldn’t have a place to go to get sober. There are so many opportunities to be of service in AA and being of service is what keeps AA going to get that daily reprieve we need to stay sober just for today. Thank you for the reminder of how important it is and how I cannot rest on my laurels.

I’ve chaired meetings as well which has also helped keep me sober. Without the chair people we wouldn’t have meetings so I am so grateful for those who show up and chair even when it may not be convenient.