Stop Doing What Marge Wants to Do

When I finally realized I had no control of people, places and things – my biggest and strongest defect of character, I was blessed with a new mindset. I was filled with a new joy and a new freedom.

Entitlement has been one of the biggest character defects that has been lifted a lot from me.

In the past, I expected people to do things for me, rather than pitching in and helping out and being of service. I learned to think of others and to be of service from being in the rooms.

Letting go and letting God guide me through the things I can’t control opened doors to new and wonderful possibilities and gave me a new understanding and empathy for all things.

As my sponsor says, this program is all about growing up. Being a real adult has nothing to do with age, rather–to me–living by spiritual principles such as being responsible, accountable, tolerant, patient, humble and disciplined, to name a few. Overall, the defect of irresponsibility is being lifted as I learn more how to navigate through life using the program as my guide.

I trust in my God that all things out of my control will work out for the best and they normally always do.

Putting my trust in God to take away and have my control and fully embracing his power and control in my life has removed from me all the fear I had in losing control in the beginning.

When I do steps 4 and 5 and see the patterns of my behavior I become aware of them moving forward, and with step 2 and 3, I made a decision that I don’t want to live the way I used to–I want to live a new life guided by my Higher Power. When I do steps 6 and 7 I am able to start letting go of old behavior that keeps me spiritually sick, and begin to learn what new, healthy behavior is needed to serve me and my Higher Power. When I do the next right thing, I am not seeking validation nor am I avoiding people and responsibilities–I learn to face life’s challenges and just get things done that I need to do.

For me to keep growing up, I have to keep working the steps, otherwise I will fall back into my old selfish, self-centered and entitled behavior, as that is my default! I am grateful for the 12 Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous and all of my fellows who keep it fun, supportive, interesting and healing so I keep coming back!

Releasing people-pleasing, slowly, but surely. When I first came to AA in 2013, I came But what AA has taught me is that I need because I wanted someone I knew in the to place myself first. And, the only way I program to like me. I stayed because I got can do that is through doing what is right a sponsor and did not want to let my and true for me, and what others think sponsor down. In December of 2015 I had about me is none of my business. a slip – I took a drink but did not tell my sponsor because I did not want to “let her I need to put on my own oxygen mask, down” by telling her I had relapsed. before I can be in the place to help others. While I am grateful my people-pleasing This means that just for today, I don’t drink has served me by getting me into AA, it no matter what. Regardless if someone harmed me when I was hiding my relapse tells me it’s “specially for me”, or tells me in 2015. Pretending to be “sober” and it’s “just one sip”. Not even if the president lying is the greatest self harm, but I was pours me a drink. too afraid of what people would say if I were truly honest that I had slipped. And I only need to do that for today. On January 1st of 2016, I decided to get I love AA, I love my recovery – and my life over what people would care or think – I is wonderful because I am sober. Thank knew I needed to be honest for MY you for this fellowship! recovery, sanity, health and well-being – and it is the best thing I could have ever -HG done for myself. In my honest sober journey since January 1st 2016, my HP has been slowly removing the people pleasing, little by little, bit by bit. It is definitely a work in progress that I know I will be working on through my entire life time. Through staying sober. I’ve been given the courage to get into recovery for other addictions (food addiction, looking at my spending/money issues, etc) that I shied away from because of fear of what others would say/think/feel. And without sobriety I would be in no shape or form capable of working on these things!