You may be wondering: “What are these people talking about? Why am I here? Who do these people think they are? How can they stand to listen to this shit? When do I start making amends to people? What is the deal with God?” If you find one or all of these questions circulating in your brain on an endless loop during an AA meeting, you have come to the right place! Not being shitty drunk and shitty hungover all of the time may seem challenging, even restrictive at first. Kindly remember that you can literally do anything; you just can’t drink. You can beat up your boss and sleep with your neighbor’s wife — at the same time! You can stay up all night watching that 1980’s situation comedy about an alien robot that lives with a suburban family while eating all the ice cream. You can show up to Christmas, naked! With no money! Because you are sober, you are free. Whatever you choose to do you will remember and feel in vivid technicolor — pretty trippy. When acting out and torturing people gets tiring, try listening to people at the meetings. Do any of them have the things you want? Money? Love? Good Health? Peace of mind? If so, ask that person to sponsor you (they will) and do whatever he or she tells you to do. Ignore advice from people who have things you don’t want. See you on the road to happy destiny. ~Anonymous