I wrote that poem back in 2001. A full 14 years before finding AA. These days I am super grateful to have the Fellowship and to be able to recognize when I need attention, love and consolation. Today I know how to ask people politely and gently for their attention. I have learned that giving love enables me to receive love, and today I would change the word “consolation” to “understanding” since I no longer need to be consoled, but sometimes I do seek understanding. I now know how to pause and ask for help in understanding myself and others. It’s interesting for me to note, that even though I had the awareness of my behavior in 2001, I did not have the solution. I did not have anyone I could share my deep questions with who might understand what was going on with me, so I used to commit it all to prose. Plus I certainly did not have my sobriety, which is the King Pin holding my new life together. Without the drink, I have a fuller life and with the support of the fellowship and the steps, I have the magic that holds it all together. ~Lisa G