What’s Saving Me These Days is Primary Purpose!

Lately what’s been saving me is the last line of the Preamble, (published in the June 1947 Grapevine) that states, “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.” That helps keep me focused, especially when I can get easily distracted with things like wanting to be liked by everyone, wanting to be included in everything, and wanting to win the prize for Most Liked Person of AA Singapore, etc, etc. It takes away a good chunk of the pressure, the expectations, and reminds me why I am here–to stay sober and to help others do the same.

good night’s sleep, pay attention, listen and learn, face fears of doing something new, face responsibility, push myself sometimes out of my comfort zone, and keep coming back. When the people pleasing, validation seeking addict takes over in me I feel a sense of shame and anxiety and am left feeling unsafe. I believe that is because it is not my Higher Power’s will for me, so it just doesn’t sit right. I’m getting better at listening to my Higher Power’s voice.

When I come into something with no expectations other than sticking to my primary purpose (stay sober, do the job, be a good mom, be a good partner) and help others, I feel a lot more serene. This alcoholic likes to complicate things, and having a primary purpose simplifies my life a great deal and then I am able to build self-esteem and help others. It also removes my will out of things and allows God’s will to be done. I am very grateful today for my Primary Purpose!

When I apply it in other areas of my life, like work, it helps me stay focused there, too, and releases a lot of the pressure I put on myself to receive constant validation and approval, not even so much in my actual work but validation for who I am (and it’s not their job to do that!).

At work my primary purpose is to get the job done well, and help others get the job done well too. To do that I need to get a