asking God to remove those false airs and let people see the real me.

As we read How It Works at the beginning of each meeting, I heard the words “rigorous honesty” and thought “I got this!”. After all, I wasn’t drinking anymore, so I didn’t have to lie about that. And really that was the only thing I told outright lies about.

The gift of this program was to finally be free from fear and let others see my true nature.

And it turns out that the real me is a far better friend, fellow, mother, and partner than I ever believed I could be when I was lying to myself.

I wasn’ta thief or a cheat and I certainly didn’t tell harmful deliberate lies. That bit of the Big Book was for others, not for me. And yet, here I was relapsing time and again, so maybe I was one of the ones they were talking about that failed despite having thoroughly followed the path.

Of course! AA works for others, but not for me. I am unique and different!

Working with a sponsor, step meetings and listening to others share, I gradually realised my narrow definition of dishonesty was serving me, but not in the way that brought me closer to God.

Did I embellish to make myself seem better? Was I grandiose and prideful? Did I slander others through gossip?

Confronting those truths about myself was ugly. That surrender and letting go of the constant battle to appear better than others was the most freeing moment of my life so far.

The psychic change happened for me when I finally understood and accepted that rigorous honesty is a lifetime of work.

Changing myself day by day to be free from concealment. Being truly willing and