This is the single sentence that finally landed and bloomed in my sot of a heart and invited me to want sobriety for myself, not to please others. I was reading while sitting alone enjoying a second beer with my journal open to a page that had been empty for months.

In this issue, we speak with a fellow who has found her Higher Power in nature. Through her journey in recovery, she has discovered healing not just within, but in the world around her. She now shares this connection by organizing nature walks for other fellows, creating space for reflection and fellowship. Her story offers a gentle reminder that spirituality can take many forms. And sometimes, peace can be found just by stepping outside.

I read the line (not for the first time), but like arriving at the third movement in lectio divina, something shifted as I looked back and forth from a nearly drained pint of beer, to the stark white page of my journal and then back to Oliver’s closing sentence of her essay “Of Power and Time” in Upstream.

She shares here the last line of an essay titled “Of Power and Time” by Mary Oliver and how it inspired her awakening.

Knowing in a new way that I spent more time drinking or thinking about drinking than I did writing or thinking about writing (even though I talked endlessly about not having enough time to write), the question was formed for me: To what am I willing to give my power and time, the drink or the page?

“The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.” – Mary Oliver

It took a few more months of walking around with that clear and pressing question, but eventually, and for at least another 24 hours, I chose and choose the page.

Use the QR code below to listen to the full interview and other Voices of AA.

I started the [11th-step] nature walks because many people nodded when I shared my Higher Power is Nature and that I find the concept of God difficult. …If you want to explore Nature as your Higher Power, go in the open, be still, let something larger than you hold you, slowly and notice that you are being held.