I remember when I got into the rooms, just over five years ago. Defeated, is the only word I can think of. Misled by my own belief system, that ‘this time it would be different’ had me wrung out to almost nothing. I was a shell of a person; with no money, no place to call home, friends and family have given up on me and still the bottle promised me that I should have it, one more time.

Currently, there are days where I feel kind-of similar because all of the things that gave me a sense of purpose, or hope – are basically illegal. I can’t really work, I am not allowed to see my friends for a coffee, let alone hug someone I haven’t seen in a long time and this also, makes me feel defeated.

But, I am thankful for the AA program; where the steps which show me a solution to this situation. I am powerless over Covid-19 and I believe that a power greater than myself can help me… I can see that by doing a step 4 on the pandemic – it allows me to see clearly, how my defects of character are standing in the way of the truth. And the truth is – life doesn’t happen the way I want it to, and all I can do is to adjust my attitude to what is happening. I can keep on doing my step 10 inventory to keep my side of the street clean, but most importantly, I can connect with my Higher Power through prayer and meditation – because I now have loads of time to do it…where I didn’t have as much time as before.

Then, there is another wonderful way for me to connect through to my Higher Power – and that is through other fellows. I love the fact that I have a sponsor, who is taking me through the steps just like she was guided to, so that I can see my defects for what they are and not for what I think they are. Connecting with other alcoholics through various digital platforms – allows me to see that each and everyone is going through this and not just me. I am so thankful for the fact that what ultimately separated us (alcohol…and this pandemic) is also bringing us together.

That gives me peace.

And the only way for me to keep this peace, is to then give it away. I am so thankful for every person who is helping me through this, because with your help – I can help others.

Peace out, Adrian