A VitƄƏ ChaƑƤƈ in PerƖƭƈcƗƦƳe A favourite thing about AA for me is that in As a depressed alcoholic, I used to sit in pain one meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, one and misery and think I was making it better can hear dozens of different ideas of God, when in fact I was making it worse. At the Higher Power and Spiritual Awakening or age of 21, I didn’t want to participate in life at Experience, despite us all following one all and a major suicide attempt lead me to method of getting there: The Twelve Steps. what I believe was my first taste of a spiritual experience that I can now see is divine For me, I see that I am in a spiritual intervention, for I should have died that night experience living my sober life and that I by my plans. have been awakened to a new perspective in and of life. I need this to stay alive, for I was Even in sobriety, I can get off the beam and a depressed alcoholic pumping a depressant into some negative head spaces when I am in the form of alcohol into my body while not putting my programme first. trying to be treated for depression. (I believe this is where my American friends would say: Now, I can share my discomforts with my “go figure”sarcastically!) sponsor or other fellows, do the work AA has taught me to do and then, sometimes Appendix Two of the Big Book uses the word quickly, sometimes slowly, I feel better for change, or a simile of it, nine times on page taking the appropriate actions. I think it is a 567. This alteration is that I get to see the blessing that even with the worst things that world in a different light to the one I saw have happened to me in sobriety such as before thanks to having completed The family bereavements, recurrent illnesses or Twelve Steps and taking a few daily actions leaving my partner behind in Singapore, I can such as prayer and gratitude lists. Sat in almost always put a positive spin on it that England at present, it is all too easy to look helps me see the light, usually that I can be out of my window and moan about the grey of service to AA or my family differently to sky, wet weather and that I miss Singapore, how I was before. and believe me, I do still moan! But I also can say I am fortunate and grateful to have a What I have, thanks to putting right my past roof over my head, to be living with family and putting my programme first one day at a that love me and that I miss Singapore time, contributes hugely to my daily sobriety because of the amazing time I had there and and is a blessing of being an alcoholic. A amazing friends I made that I can video call vital change in perspective where I no longer and communicate with very easily thanks to live with regrets, can see the positive sides in the technology I have enough money to situations and get to live in a state of love have. and tolerance of others. And myself. How does this relate to my alcoholism? ~ Josh Because I could and used to drink over these things and things far smaller for that matter.